I’ve been watching this piece of shit show for years. I started off in my teens when it was actually good, it had drama and mystery but then somehow it became the worst show I’ve ever seen. I feel like a lot of shows make the mistake of going on for too long and instead drag out the plot which was once good, and make it shit for many seasons to come *cough* *cough* *choke* the walking dead. But honestly, Pretty Little Liars (PLL) is the prime example for this. It could have ended many seasons ago when it was still good with an A reveal, but instead it dragged on. My main problem with the show is that it honestly just got lazy, the dialogue got trash with stupid jokes and cliche stupid lines as well as the plot going nowhere, it’s as though Marlene King was pulling it out of her ass (she’s probably a nice person in real life but I’m sorry this really did get awful). The plot twists weren’t good, they were basically just someone wearing like 10 masks, I mean enough with the masks already Jesus MOTHERFUCK, and we never got any answers, just more questions. Characters would just disappear – where did Ezra’s son go? or Noel, or Jason, or anyone. I can’t remember most of the people on there because they just disappear and come back at random times for no reason whatsoever, and I’m just like who the heck is that. The characters are also kinda terrible people and all stupid, I don’t even know how many scenes I’ve seen of one of them going into the woods by themselves without a phone in the dark and then they’re surprised that something bad happened, the dumb hoes. Oh and why did they ruin Alison? She’s a dry ass boring character dressed in grandma clothes who’s always whining. She was more exciting when she was a mean bitch who was dead. But anyway, this isn’t about the show in general, It’s about the finale. The show has been consistently boring and disappointing me for years now, as you can tell from my complaints, and I expected to be disappointed once again for the finale. However, there was still a tiny, extremely minuscule, almost invisible part of me had a teeny tiny petite amount of hope that the finale would be good and surprising, and that I would finally find out who AD is once and for all. But I was motherfucking disappointed once a-motherfucking-gain. So anyway, let’s get into the details.
Honestly pretty much the entire episode was just boring, and I finally got excited when I saw Melissa’s face because I thought yes finally, Melissa is AD this will actually be good… and we see her fucking face twice but then Mona takes off a mask and it wasn’t actually Melissa for fuck’s sake, why is Marlene so obsessed with masks? fuck you, I’m tired of Mona, she should have died earlier as she did in the books goddamn. It’s stupid how Alison is fighting with Addison as though she’s still in high school, I mean she is physically in high school but she’s an adult and a teacher, just give the hoe detention lmao. Speaking of which, I was hoping so hard that Addison wouldn’t be a repeat of the PLL story, I thought to myself, I bet they’ll make that a thing, repeating the story, and they frickin did. At the end we have the barn scene that started it all off for the liars with Addison going missing, I just can’t be bothered anymore, godfuckingdamn. I don’t need another repeat, and watch this be a spin off now with Alison as a teacher. Especially because they mentioned how one of the girls is Maya’s niece. Speaking of which, I got so excited when I heard Maya’s name i squealed, but sadly they didn’t somehow bring her back, that would have saved the show but of course they didn’t do that. I got almost half way through the episode and nothing had happened, I was tempted to skip to the reveal but I waited years for this so I kept watching, and all i got was unnecessary sex scenes, I really don’t give a shit, I just want to finally find out who AD is, FUCK. One funny thing did happen though, everyone was mad at Hannah and says that Mona tried to push her off the bell tower and Hannah is just like “yeah and she feels really bad about that,” honestly me when someone tries to kill me. It just reminds me of how Paige tried to drown Emily, yet they were a couple soon after, and people SHIPPED THEM? Alright. I mean I’m not really into the whole ‘person tries to kill me so i date them’ thing, but whatever.
So throughout the entire episode there’s unnecessary conflict between Hannah and Caleb and I really don’t care about it, I also don’t care about Aria not being able to have children, I just finally want answers. Instead I get Aria’s dad coming out of nowhere, I honestly forgot he even existed, they really do just get rid of characters randomly. Aria’s mum is back too, from wherever the heck she went, but I am kinda glad to see the mums back together, they’re funny and probably the best characters to be honest, amongst the utter trash. Aria’s mum mentions them getting out of the basement as well which is funny because I’ve always been like ‘how DID they get out of that basement miraculously,’ – still don’t know by the way. Oh and what’s up with Ezra talking to Aria’s dad about not asking him for permission to marry Aria? First of all it’s 2017 you don’t need the father’s permission, and second of all no one cares about Ezra and Aria’s dad interacting, they’ve probably said two words to each other in the entire show so why start now and waste time when you could be TELLING ME WHO AD IS.
Finally, FINALLY I find out who AD is and it’s Spencer’s twin. I was hoping so hard that it wouldn’t be her twin but it fucking is, I can’t be bothered. Why is there so much focus on Spencer anyway, her twin (Alex), just comes out of nowhere Jesus Christ, I’ve been waiting for years and I get SPENCER’S TWIN? STOP WITH THE TWIN THING THIS IS LAME AND THERE ARE SO MANY PLOT HOLES THAT AREN’T ANSWERED WITH THIS, FUCKING DROWN ME. I’m pissed, I’m pissed but then I hear Alex speak and I’m laughing, goddamn I’m fucking laughing, why is she British? I laughed for about five minutes I’m not kidding. Alex is more fun than Spencer to be honest, but this is such a stupid and bizarre story line in which someone’s long lost twin did all that, I know it’s just a TV show so it’s fictional but like are you kidding me? This is a stupid story line which would never happen. Also where did Alex get the money for all this extremely high tech stuff and underground hideout which simulates the outdoors, i mean really? There is no way she could get that kind of money, you’d have to be a literal millionaire to be able to build this shit. I was glad to see Wren though and hoped he would have more to do with this but na he dead, so that’s that. I’m thinking maybe Spencer will get murdered, at least that would make the show interesting, I just want one of them to die please, but nope she lives… blah blah blah happily ever fucking after haha feels like the end let’s all cry as we have a perfect fucking stupid ass lame ass shit on a piece of toilet paper fucking ending. Oh and with the twin thing, what is this obsession with twins, even Alison and Emily’s children are twins. Speaking of which, everyone’s getting or wanting babies, weird.
So I think the show has finally ended but we see the barn scene with Addison, which I already said earlier how I’m mad about BUT OF COURSE, it’s still not over… It ends with Mona and her dolls and then we see Alex and her mum behind some glass, please just end it, end it all. And finally it does end. It ends and I’m filled with complete disappointment, I stuck around and watched this garbage for years because I hoped maybe I would get a good ending to make it all better, but I didn’t. I deserve better than this. Marlene just pulled this shit out of her ass as she went along.
So yep, that’s it. It was boring followed by disappointing, as expected. British accent Alex did make me laugh though. And that concludes my review, if you can even call this a review, It’s mostly me saying FUCK I HATE THIS, because I did.
P.S sorry to Marlene for completely trashing her life’s work, but it sucked ass.
Thank you Marlene for providing me with a few seasons of goodness, followed by trash to laugh about with my friend Lisa Turtle.
Peace Bitches -A.