I kinda hate that I wrote wonder woman was wonderful but that alliteration was too beautiful to pass up and my vocabulary isn’t advanced enough to think of anything else to substitute it, but anyway, today I will be reviewing wonder woman since I saw it in the cinema just yesterday and was pleasantly surprised. (Also my phone corrected wonder woman to wonder man wow wow government is that you? Goddamn can’t even talk about some powerful women) I’m fucking kidding, or am I? Anyway, here we go…
Let me start off by saying that every single DC and Marvel movie I’ve seen in the past few years (apart from deadpool that was a masterpiece) has been kinda awful and after the atrocity that was Batman vs Superman I swore to myself I wouldn’t watch any more shitty superhero movies, because I did not deserve that, I respect myself too much, but people kept talking about wonder woman and it actually sounded good so I watched it and it was good, really good actually.
A lot of superhero movies now have zero plot, useless half naked female characters and cheesy lines which aren’t even funny. They’re just packed with action and nothing else but wonder woman was different.
This is going to contain spoilers for the entire movie but I’ll give a little background for wonder woman just in case, maybe you haven’t seen the movie and don’t care about spoilers or whatever. Wonder woman, or rather Diana is the daughter of Queen Hippolyta and was sculpted from clay as Queen Hippolyta wanted a daughter – Zeus then bought her to life and she’s been living on paradise island with the rest of the Amazons since she was created. I’m not going to go into detail about her entire origin but basically she lived on the island since she was a child. The island is made up entirely of women and that’s where the story begins and I fucking loved seeing all the women fighting. The island for starters was beautiful. The women were all fucking badass with their slow motion fight scenes, which were well thought out and looked cool, one of my favourite scenes being when three arrows were shot at once taking down three men at the same time.
All the women were just amazing and also actually legitimately scary because they were all so powerful. So yep, the first thing the movie did really well was the fight scenes and having actual badass female characters who were genuinely good at fighting and weren’t saved by men in any situation. In fact Diana was the one doing the saving, i mean she is the superhero. The scene where she started walking and is being shot at was fucking perfect. All the men were telling her to stay back but she’s like fuck it and walks right out, allowing them to get out there for the first time since she was absorbing all the bullets with her shield, so they could actually get out and fight the Germans.
A lot of superhero movies I feel are slightly ruined with romance plots because it’s just so cheesy and who really falls in love at first sight while fighting a war and then has a happy ending? But they did it well here because, well it was just cute and not in an over the top way interfering with the general plot. Also there wasn’t a happy ending for the both of them as Steve died in the end, which was good because it would have made the story less intense if he lived and not as satisfying. He dies a good death, it was sad but I love how he smiled right before he died because he knew he was doing a good thing, sacrificing himself to end the war.
I fucking love Etta so much as well, we didn’t get to see that much of her but goddamn every single word that came out of her mouth was hilarious. The movie had some really good funny parts to it in general. Often the humour in these kinds of movies seems forced and cringey but here it worked, it wasn’t excessive so the story was still serious but when there were funny parts it was well executed. My favourite funny scene had to be when Diana is going through a revolving door and she’s holding her goddamn sword and shield and just runs at it trying to tackle it like it’s an obstacle she has to fight, I actually laughed out loud which doesn’t happen often when watching movies even when something really funny happens. She keeps holding the sword and shield as well and everyone stares at her because she’s a woman in London in the middle of a war, she’s supposed to look and act proper but instead she’s carrying a giant sword and shield, it’s brilliant. She later gives the sword and shield to Etta to look after which earns even more weird looks and Etta struggling to hide it made it even more funny.
Diana also doesn’t realise how women being in war and stuff isn’t normal so when she sees clothes she refers to it as armour and asks how women fight in it, oh and she says that being a secretary sounds like slavery. It’s funny because she doesn’t realise how women were treated at the time of the war and doesn’t understand that it wasn’t normal for women to stand up to a bunch of men and just say whatever the heck she tought.
The ending may not have been anything extraordinarily unique, It’s your classic action packed fight scene, with tragic deaths but an eventual win with one last giant explosion, but it was pretty epic and intense.
Overall the movie was surprisingly really good, considering I had extremely low expectations based on precious superhero movies. The movie had some quality fight scenes, an actual plot that could be easily followed, a good back story, appropriate humour and badass women which were portrayed really well. Also all the women on the island speak hundreds of languages and I’m jealous. The soundtrack was good too and I still have it stuck in my head.
I saw a funny tweet a while ago as a reply to people saying shit about the movie having a female director but I can’t fucking find it, it was something along the lines of “people are saying women can’t direct a superhero movie but by the looks of it men haven’t been able to” that was god awful paraphrasing because the actual tweet sounded really good and I was like ouch damn, because of the sheer quantity of trashy superhero movies I’ve seen, which were directed by men. Just pretend you saw the tweet and laugh.
So yep, great fucking movie, best superhero movie in a long time and there have been many stories of it having a good and inspiring influence on little girls which is fucking cool. I’m also stealing that lasso of truth, whatever the heck it was called. Oh and one more thing, very cool how it wasn’t a sword that could defeat the evil, it was Diana and how she realized that people aren’t all bad and instead people can be good and bad. Sounds kinda cheesy but it was cool, especially when she said “It’s about what you believe. And I believe in love. Only love will truly save the world.” For a movie with so much fighting it’s good how the take home message was about how love is what saves the world and what is important. It may not have been the best movie I’ve ever seen in my life but i enjoyed it a lot and it was one of the best superhero movies I’ve seen.
Diana Prince: [sees London for the first time] It’s hideous!
Steve Trevor: Yeah, it’s not for everybody.